At pg, we decided early on to use our time and energy to experience and self-reflect on what we have created. We wanted to walk the talk on levelling up as leaders, as people, as professionals and as journey-takers and learners.
In the spirit of vulnerability, this post explores why we ask others to validate us rather than learn to self-affirm. There are lots of reasons we go through life being self-critical and hoping others will make us feel like we are enough. We’re not here to label you (that’s for jam jars) - we’re simply here to remind you that you hold the key to being empowered. The entire premise of pg came from that root thought - we can permit ourselves to feel empowered and stop asking everyone else to provide it.
There are no shortcuts or magical ‘fixes’ when it comes to feeling enough and whole. We have to put time, effort and intention into discovering what makes us tick and why we are triggered and feel what we feel. We recommend, where possible, finding a therapist or self-selected support that you can build rapport with and dive into the things that have brought you here.
Undertake valuable tools and time to invest in yourself, your skills and your relationships. If we want to create a life where we feel empowered, we have to take stock of what’s not working and get to the root causation of why.
Every time you give others the power to make or break your day, you create turbulence within yourself. That can create a pattern of expectation and behaviour that puts a lot of pressure on your body to cope with the cortisol spikes and adrenal fatigue of fight or flight mode. We aren’t doctors, so we suggest working with specialists related to whatever you’re experiencing (and ideally covered in your benefits).
Momentum creates momentum. When you exercise, you want to exercise more. When you’re stagnant, you want to stay still longer. This is the same as validation - when you learn to self-validate, you create a new pattern of no longer hoping for others to make you feel better about yourself.
We know it’s hard, and we’re working through it too. Each day reflect on this:
Did I give myself credit for what I achieved?
Did I capture how valuable my thoughts and ideas are?
Did I seek others to make me feel enough, or am I willing to give that to myself?
You can create a new pattern for yourself: identify, invest, explore and reflect. There are no shortcuts, only sparks to start a new momentum of self-kindness. You’ve got this.
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