We have all been there - you just have to get something off your chest. You need to blow off some steam and complain about something that's been bothering you. And who better to talk to than your trusted friends or colleagues?
However, there's a fine line between venting and gossiping. Venting is healthy and can help release negative emotions and help work the root cause of the issue, but gossiping can be toxic and damaging.
So, what's the difference between the two? Let's break it down.
Venting is when you discuss a problem or an issue that's bothering you with someone who can listen and/or offer solicited support and advice. The focus is on finding a solution and moving forward. Venting is productive because it helps you get your feelings out in the open without any intention of hurting anyone else. You can work through what’s bothering you in a safe environment.
On the other hand, gossiping is sharing information about someone or something else that may be biased, untrue, inappropriate or hurtful. The purpose is to diminish someone else, spread rumors, entertain or make oneself feel better at the expense of someone else without their knowledge. Gossiping can be destructive because it can lead to distrust, broken relationships, and hurt feelings.
If you catch yourself talking about someone behind their back, it's time to take a step back and ask yourself, "am I just venting or am I gossiping?"
Here are some questions to help you distinguish between venting and gossiping:
Am I sharing information that is true?
Am I talking about someone's behavior or personality or something that is out of their control?
Am I trying to find a solution to the problem or just looking to complain?
Am I spreading information that I wouldn't be comfortable saying to their face?
Am I sharing this information in confidence or is it something I wouldn't mind other people hearing?
If you answered yes to the first two questions and no to the last three, then you're venting. If any of the latter three questions rings true, then you might be crossing the line into gossiping.
If in doubt, use the THINK model and ask yourself: is it thoughtful, helpful, insightful, necessary and kind?
Pg takeaway:
There's nothing wrong with venting. It's a healthy way to express your feelings and get support from. Gossiping on the other hand is a destructive habit that can have serious consequences. It's important to recognize the difference and make sure you're always using the former as an outlet and avoiding the latter. Remember, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all! Instead, reflect and ask yourself “what’s really triggering me about this situation? Why?”.
You got this.
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