Take action to create kinder workplaces.
We are responsible for elements of our workplace culture. As a leader, your behavior matters. The way that you model behavior, express your attitudes and your beliefs which all tie back to your values, what you say and do, contributes to the complex landscape that is organizational culture.
We all have a role to play in creating safer and inclusive workplaces.
Here are 10 ways to cultivate kindness in your workplace as a leader:
1. Honor the absent - Don't gossip, don’t wait for someone to leave the room to roll your eyes at them, don’t engage in behaviours that devalue others when they aren’t around. Being critical of others, making assumptions or just generally not letting people speak for themselves creates a toxic and untrusting atmosphere and by contributing to that you are saying it is ok to mistreat someone or devalue them if they don’t agree with you.
2. Hold space - become an expert in listening and recognition. Simply seeking to jump in and respond to people's suggestions and ideas with another suggestion is not listening nor collaborating. As Marshall Goldsmith teaches, avoid responding with sentences that start with 'no', 'but' or 'however' because these phrases are all ways of saying 'you're wrong'. If you’re not sure how to respond, ask “tell me more” and let the other person respond. This TED talk called 'How to tame your Advice Monster' has some helpful tips on being a better listener.
3. Model healthy boundaries - especially if you are in a leadership position, you need to be seen modeling healthy behavior. This might look like pushing back and saying no to meetings scheduled at inconsiderate timings like lunch breaks or by some of the other points below. It’s also about protecting time off for self and others. Lead by example.
4. Self awareness - reflect on the decision-making power you hold in your role, your attitudes and your own actions. You are responsible for how you treat others and the impact that creates. Be mindful of others, as examples:
When you interrupt people, it sets a tone that is acceptable.
When you schedule inconvenient meeting times you're indicating your time is more valuable than theirs. If it has to happen, acknowledge it, and don't make it the norm.
Consider the tone, expression and body language you use when you're stressed, uncomfortable or challenged - do your words match the tension in your shoulders? Do you create an inviting space for others to be themselves?
5. Respect peoples time and headspace - it’s critical to understand that many people want to disconnect from work and focus on the things that matter to them after completing their work schedule. Rather than send things on your schedule, use the delay function on email to schedule your responses if you're catching up after hours. As a leader, contacting others outside hours puts unnecessary pressure on people, it sets a tone that people should be reachable at any time. As a team member, it sends the signal that you're willing to sacrifice your personal time to work and is often, if we're honest with ourselves, a little performative and unnecessary virtue signaling.
6. Disconnect - take your own vacation days and encourage others to take theirs too. Banking all those vacation days when there was nowhere to travel might have made sense for you, but to the best of your ability take your time off. Use your time, it's part of your compensation and by not using it you set a tone and expectation. Time off doesn’t have to mean travel, it can mean spending time as you see fit in a way that recharges you and aids rest and relaxation.
7. Prioritize yourself - talking about how busy you are and how much work you have is another behavior we're guilty of from time to time - have you ever stopped to think why we do it? Glorifying being over worked is a toxic culture trait that doesn’t help you, your career or your health long-term. We might feel we have to do it as a signal to others to show our value. In reality, we’re normalizing unrealistic expectations and lack of resources. It is ok to end your day without achieving all you wanted to.
8. Understand the power dynamic - another excellent piece of advice from Marshal Goldsmith, when dealing with people from a position of decision making, is to be aware that your suggestions can become orders. Throwing out ideas and looking to add value to discussions can create added workload, stress and anxiety for others if your expectations are unclear.
9. Clear is kind - In the words of Brene Brown, remember 'clear is kind, unclear in unkind'. Explain the reasoning behind decisions, avoid ambiguity about what you want to meet with someone about, prevent leaving people confused and anxious about your actions. Really learn to get comfortable with difficult conversations. Being 'nice' to avoid a real conversation doesn’t help anyone’s career After all, there's nothing nice about not giving people learning opportunities or not guiding them to see their work isn't hitting the mark until it's too late.
10. Sing people's praises - give credit often and openly, make it tailored, timely and specific to the person or persons you are referring to. Don't wait until other leaders are present to congratulate people. Make praise and appreciation a natural part of your leadership rhythm. Give credit to people who did the work, who made the team stronger, who are ethical whether that’s an individual or team. An environment where people are respectful and express gratitude with and for others is a happier environment.
You are the leader you always wanted to have.
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